View Profile Onic
When life gives you lemons...just shutup and eat the damn lemons. :D

n/a, Male



Joined on 11/3/03

Exp Points:
9,780 / 9,990
Exp Rank:
Vote Power:
7.17 votes
Police Captain
Global Rank:
B/P Bonus:

Posted by Onic - October 5th, 2011

[7:57pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> died from the cancer his iPhones cause.... IRONY
[7:58pm] <@Onic> wait
[7:58pm] <@Onic> are you saying
[7:58pm] <@Onic> steve jobs
[7:58pm] <@Onic> had an ironic death
[7:58pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> HAHAHA

Steve Jobs has Died...

Posted by Onic - August 1st, 2011

[10:29pm] <DrChickenGeorge> 7.1 skill gain from about 25 minutes of healing my hind that was attacking a ratman.
[10:30pm] <+fart> lol
[10:30pm] <DrChickenGeorge> Then the ratman ran away and couldn't kill him.
[10:30pm] <DrChickenGeorge> Because the hind is fucking weak as shit.
[10:31pm] <+fart> try taming a scorpion
[10:32pm] <+fart> you can wreck stuff with a group of scorps
[10:32pm] <DrChickenGeorge> I don't want it to kill shit.
[10:32pm] <+fart> ah of course
[10:32pm] <DrChickenGeorge> I want to stand around healing it.
[10:32pm] <DrChickenGeorge> To get veterinary skill.
[10:32pm] <+fart> yerah
[10:32pm] <DrChickenGeorge> Went through about 160 bandages.
[10:33pm] <+fart> whats the char name with taming/vet?
[10:34pm] <DrChickenGeorge> Dick Cockman.
[10:34pm] <DrChickenGeorge> My jacker.
[10:36pm] <+fart> jiggity jackin
[10:37pm] <+fart> just googled Gay Porn for the "first" time
[10:37pm] <+fart> lol'd


Posted by Onic - October 12th, 2009

Lin felt the burbling preponderance of poop that had been sweltering in her mephitic colon. It jostled upon her rectum like a bumper car battering a door in a burning building. Lin felt the draught of feces disembogue into her once unpolluted underwear. It spangled every inch of her supple haunches, and exudated freely into her droopy vagina. Lin squealed in delectation as the tepid poo began to cascade down her legs, then deep into the abysmal substratum of her already muculent shoes. Lin ran her fingers over her viscous legs, amassing immeasurable amounts of poop. She parsimoniously licked her fingers, relishing every last driblet of the ambrosial poo. Lin's semblance was now bemired in a viscid lamination of poo. Purulent and fetid, it embraced her epidermis like a glistening lacquer of paint. She chortled in fruition and licked her lips. Lin's once unblemished panties were now a depredated moor of detritus fecal mater. Prodigious passels of poo squeezed out from the elastic leg-bands. Lin writhed in agony as her epidemic crusted thighs triturated concomitantly; the abrasive fecal mater still embraced them, bemired over fossilized laminations of poo. Lin awoke to a nice morning. The pleasant sun delineated in through her windows. At that moment, in peace, she knew she had to poo. Gallons of insipid malodorous poo instantaneously saturated the backside of her underwear. Algid sweat painted her face as she exudated more of the sweltering caliginous poo. Lin gnawed her lip as the ghastly fluid surged forth, showing no sign of desisting. Then the blood started oozing out. Throbbing pain coerced Lin's duodenum as gelatinous, meaty gobs of blood and poo shredded themselves from her mutilated colon. Lin adored typing in IRC, but she cherished belching elephantine amounts of poo from her smacking asshole even more. She would lash herself to the toilet with chains of wrought iron to secure herself for the coming expulsion. A crucifix cracked in the vatican. Lin had began to poo. Howling, ignoramus beasts and devils discharged from her prolongate ass-maw. shredding and slashing their way into this verisimilitude reality from the one provenience of unadulterated wickedness. Lin's gaunt colon. Lin's gruesome underwear were stymied to her blistered legs by layers upon layers of nauseating poo. They drooped down to her knees from the adiposity of the detestable poo. Lin hadn't changed underwear in months; perpetually replenishing the same pair with more and more poo. Lin's asshole languished from years of desecration. It suspired for the tender embrace of death, but the Mephistopheles wouldn't let it perish.

<mamatequila> An avalanche of my own feces ran down my leg on my socks and all over my shoes. An endless firehose of feces. On and on it poured. <mamatequila> The elastic leg openings succeeded in keeping every ounce of what seemed like the several pounds of warm, semi-solid pooh that had cascaded into my pants and now bathed my buttocks. <mamatequila> I struggled to wrap my head around the biomechanics necessary to pass this bitch: the ringmeat elasticity, the intestinal dexterity, the pelvic displacement, the ribcage flexibility! Hell, the strain of the colonic fulcrum alone should have confined a normal man to a rectal harness for life <mamatequila> a chorus of anguished cries, explosive bodily noises, and the occasional long, melancholy wail ensued <mamatequila> Scorching shit, which was now about the consistency and color of rusty water, splattered all over the crying infant below me <mamatequila> The whole grisly affair only lasted a few seconds, yet meaty globs of blood still clung to my inner-thighs <mamatequila> The first wipe was rancid and covered with more shit then I thought possible. The second wipe? Just as bad. The third? Take a guess. It went on and on. My asshole had turned into some kind of nightmarish ballpoint pen. <mamatequila> OH YAY <mamatequila> :|

[5:16pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> the only thing more glorious than a gun rack on the back of your truck is a confederate flag waving proudly from your CB radio antaenna [5:17pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> and chunks of NlGGER brains in your grill

Posted by Onic - September 18th, 2009

[1:53am] <@Chant> im trying to dig out an eye from one of those old dolls where the lids raised and lowered
[1:54am] <@Onic> ...
[1:54am] <@Onic> you're diggin the eye out of a doll?
[1:55am] <@Chant> i kind of feel like dr mengele
[1:55am] <@Chant> i have to dig it out from the inside
[1:55am] <@Chant> and this doll is genetically inferior
[1:56am] <@Chant> there we go
[1:56am] <@Chant> one dolls eye
[1:56am] <@Onic> Rob
[1:56am] <@Onic> why are you digging its eyes out
[1:57am] <@Onic> and are you positive it is a doll
[1:57am] <@Chant> it stopped screaming a while ago
[1:57am] <@Chant> so i think its a doll
[1:57am] <@Chant> and i am not digging its eyes out
[1:58am] <@Chant> im not a maniac
[1:58am] <@Chant> its just one eye
[1:58am] <@Onic> ...
[1:58am] <@Onic> jesus
[1:59am] <@Chant> its black, no one will miss it
[1:59am] <@Chant> relax
[2:00am] <@Onic> digging the eyes out of dolls
[2:00am] <@Onic> WHY
[2:01am] <@Chant> and to be fair
[2:01am] <@Chant> its just the dolls head
[2:01am] <@Chant> i dont know where itws body is
[2:01am] <@Onic> ...
[1:58am] <@Onic> jesus
[1:59am] <@Chant> its black, no one will miss it
[1:59am] <@Chant> relax
[2:00am] <@Onic> digging the eyes out of dolls
[2:00am] <@Onic> WHY
[2:01am] <@Chant> and to be fair
[2:01am] <@Chant> its just the dolls head
[2:01am] <@Chant> i dont know where itws body is
[2:01am] <@Onic> ...
[2:01am] <@Onic> You know, digging the eyes out of a doll will get you a psychological evaluation
[2:01am] <@Chant> and i am cutting its eye out cause i wanna put something else in the eye hole
[2:01am] <@Onic> however
[2:02am] <@Onic> digging the dolls out of eyes will get you commited
[2:02am] <@Chant> im not gonna leave it empty
[2:02am] <@Onic> what are you putting in the socket
[2:03am] <@Chant> you know those little plastic army men?
[2:04am] <@Onic> yeah
[2:04am] <@Chant> one of thier heads
[2:05am] <@Onic> :|
[2:06am] <@Chant> well 3 of them actually
[2:06am] <@Chant> they were traitors
[2:06am] <@Chant> cowards who fled the line
[2:07am] <@Onic> welp
[2:07am] <@Onic> I guess thats it
[2:07am] * @Onic puts a gun to his head and pulls the trigger

Posted by Onic - April 17th, 2009

[6:28pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> I just told him his game sucks dick and nobody is playing it
[6:29pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> in those exact words
[6:29pm] <@Psycho_Goldfish> because I am helpful